Welcome to Stupid Love!
I love to write. I love to express myself. Stupid Love is my little corner where I freely express my feelings, emotions and thoughts towards a special person who has inspired me to write. If you see something you like you are free to share it else where. All I ask is that you give proper respect and credit me for my creative work.
Dear Love,
I gave it another attempt. At least you know I valued you alot more than you obviously did me. I tried calling you once again...almost didn't. I've nothing left to lose. I don't know if you're out on the road or if you're at home. I am willing to wait for a short time but I can't wait forever for you to grow up and figure out if you're tired of being alone. Soon I'm gonna have to move due to work being very slow up here where I'm at. I would come your direction but I don't know anyone in that area of the country. I am not going to throw myself at your door and that's a long journey to go for someone who can't even forgive me. I keep holding out for a miracle hoping you're thinking of me at least. I sit here with all these memories of you and me running in my head. Sad how I told you I liked you and somehow I got treated like some kind of criminal. Anyways I'm tired so I'm about to head off to bed. I do have feelings for you but I know I deserve someone who will actually care for me. I can't keep doing this. I just don't have it in me anymore. If you want me than come get me. The door is closing so be quick about it. If you just want to be friends than you've got to tell me. Goodnight,
Me
Sometimes I think that a True love can never be I Just believe that somehow It wasn't meant for me Life can be cruel in a way That I can't explain and I Don't think that I could Face it all again I barely Know you but somehow I Know what you're about
I've kissed your lips a thousand times
I've held you close every night
I've talked to you until the dawn
I know this all sounds a bit extreme
Amazing things happen in dreams
I know that you are gone and
I will eventually move on.
Its sad to think such a possibility
Could be swept into the wind
I keep waiting for my turn
Loving foolishly and recklessly
But I have never felt love's burn
Walk back in
Maybe this time
I'll let you in
I'm not afraid anymore
I'm ready to let go
Of everything
And start over again
I wish we could press rewind
I'd go back to the moments
I had you in my life
I'd spend more time with you
I will never forget you. I see your face in the people I met on the street, in the clubs/venues, on the silver screen. I will be sitting here minding my own business going on with my daily activities and right out of the blue I hear your voice. Instantly I turn to find you but have to laugh cause I now you're not here. know you are out there beneath some neon lights with your skilled hands turning knobs on a sound board or you're at a local bar with a cold beer in hand watching the latest game on the big screen. I know you're out finding some adventurous activity that you enjoy doing. I've seen those shots you once had on FB...before we stopped talking to me. I snagged a couple of pics to view in my own personal time. I have turned into a stupid female and got nosy on the internet. I came across a couple more pics here and there. I couple of articles that just proved that I was right. Oh I had myself convinced (still do) that you're out of my league. And if you ever walk back into my life...I'm going to risk everything and try you out. Alright I'm going to take my drunk ass to bed now. Gotta love what vodka & coke will do.
Sweet dreams where you are at tonight,
Hope your team scored and the beers are always ice cold. Hugs, Me
Its been thirteen weeks since we last spoke. I told you that I liked you and now we don't talk at all. I'm left here trying to figure out what I had done that deserved the threats you gave. What I did so wrong to make you literally want nothing to do with me. The last words we said to each other were cold, and heartless. I've tried to apologize but I fear I've only made things worst. I have sat here reflecting back over the times we had spent together before you moved away. None if it seems to add up. I don't know if its just the perception my eyes had caught or if they were real. I wonder if you'll ever walk back into my life and when so we can finally say what has been dying to be heard. I have realized my behavior towards you over the time we've known each other. I had apologized to you for mistreating you and not giving you the chance. Why did you have to walk into my life at the wrong time? My heart was occupied by another guy at the time. It would have been wrong to sleep with you both at the same time. Though not a day goes by that I don't wonder what would've happened if I had kissed you or held your hand. I guess I was too late in opening the door to the possibility of you and me together. I wasn't expecting it to happen right away. Obviously you were in the middle of a tour and we both lived miles apart. I had hoped my confession would have made you happy but I was completely mistaken. The guy I had thought was different just turned out to be like all the others. Yet, I still see him in a different light. I'm trying my very hardest not to love a ghost yet I'm such a fool. I love way too foolishly sometimes recklessly. I care too much and wear my heart on my sleeve. I've had many men use and abuse me. I've had men walk in and out of my life. The only kind of love I've ever known is written in books and movies. I never thought I'd ever understand any of it or maybe I began to accept the belief that I was just destined to be unloved. I can't recall ever being loved at all. I don't even know what it is. Yet, what I felt around you seems to claim the title...that I'm too afraid to even acknowledge. You scared the living crap out of me. Every time you got close to me it seemed like everything just stopped. I was happy and content even for a brief moment. I wish I could describe it but I don't know how. Its purely something that words can't define. And I'm going to leave you at that for now.
I'm starting to wonder if you're a figment of my imagination. I've never been so confused and lost in my life. I've never been so hungover on a guy...especially one that has been gone for nearly a year. I can't even figure out why I got so upset over a phone call. I really shouldn't care that you blew me off. If I really look at it we never were just friends. There had always been something hovering between us. I'm not entirely sure what it is...but I felt it. It scared me to the point that I kept you at a distance. I remember the moments at your place...the way you had made me feel. I'm not entirely sure how to describe the sensations that rocked my body and my mind.I remember driving in that really nice car. I remember the other venues we went to together. The looks I caught from you, standing there with your beer bottle in hand. And of course the last night I saw you before you moved back to your home state. Those memories play in my constantly over and over again.
I am not sure where you are tonight. Maybe you're tucked into the warm comforts of your bed...wish I could be there. Or maybe you're on another tour headed to do a load-in. Where ever you're at I'm officially missing you.
This is where the letter ends...
Sweet Dreams
Me
P.S. I would tell this to you directly...except you blocked me from any other communication source
So this is the only way to reach you. These are also letters I wrote you a while ago but never had a chance to give any of them to you.
I wish I could tell you how I feel. Yet you’ll probably never read these words. I shouldn't even care yet I do. I find myself thinking of you in ways I know I shouldn't I’m trying hard to write these things down as I feel you have the right to know. I've never been one to play by any stupid rules. I've never been afraid to take such a risk but here I am pouring my thoughts out into words you’ll probably never read. Even if nothing ever comes out of me telling you , just for you to finally know how I feel is what truly matters.
I keep envisioning you walking through the door, yet I’m aware that you probably won’t. Real life doesn't work that way. When an opportunity comes knocking on your door, your either seize the moment or lose out. I guess I lost out on something that might have been good for me. Sometimes you can miss the moon if you’re too busy counting stars. And there I go rambling ‘cause I’m terrified to even attempt to put these damn emotions into share able words. Not that any simple word could even begin to describe the mixed emotions I have been feeling about you. Its like the mere whisper of your name sends my nerves into overdrive. I can’t seem to remember what happened that sent you packing for the hills. It doesn't seem to matter now. All that seems to be of importance is the reality that you’re gone. Not sure if you’re ever coming back again or if the phone will ever ring again. Yet, secretly I find myself silently hoping. This all sounds pretty crazy… I know.
I have gone over in my head a thousand times what I would do the next time you walk into my life. Honestly for the first time in my life…I’m not entirely sure. All I do know is I wouldn't walk away or walk out. If you made a move I wouldn't stop you. Of course right now you don’t even know any of this. If there was a way to get this to you…it’d be in your hands tonight.
You disappeared without a trace
Just got up and walked away
Can't believe you'd leave so easily
But you left behind a mess for me
I wish that I could explain
For the way that I behaved
I never planned for this
I don't know how to fix it
And get you back again
I just want you back again
You walked into my life
like you were an old friend
Somehow you just fit right in
I did not know it then
That I'd regret you walking away
I wish that I could explain
For the way that I behaved
I never planned for this
I don't know how to fix it
And get you back again
I just want you back again
Its been a year since you left
I'm trying hard to move on
But there's something about you
That won't let me go
